I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
