dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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