Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
