I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
