If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
