how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
