Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
