sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
