No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How does one acquire holy water?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
