Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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