So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
