He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
