Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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