Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My Higher Power is John Stamos
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
