It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
