You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
