FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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