I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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