I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize