Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
