Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Couch. On fire.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
