so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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