Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There's always time for handjobs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
