I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
