A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I deserve this hangover.
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