He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Randomize
