I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
