Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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