I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
