Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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