you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
