It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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