She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
