everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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