Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
