ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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