Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
