so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
