I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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