hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
