so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dignity is for republicans.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
its liver damage thursday
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
