So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
