We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
