I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
