I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
