And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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