we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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