Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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