Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
