just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I've blown a few things in my day
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
