At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
