That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
