She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
