im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
