There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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