i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
