Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We have started to decorate penises.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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