bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
