she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
