No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
