If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
