508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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