He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
