it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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